Turn 153 of 233

Run 34 miles with Sina next week and close the gap. Increase my weights furhter. I weigh 630 now at 6'3". Kimo continously crawls while I am exercising. He says his first word after we are done. "Big". I laugh

Tuesday morning is dark and the air is thick and the thick is the Florida humidity that Lena and Sina have been running through for months. The route is the route — east side, overpass, drainage road, the loop — and the distance is thirty-four miles and the thirty-four is the number Lena has been building toward. Her feet hit the pavement and the hitting is the rhythm she knows and the rhythm is the rhythm of cracked callused soles on concrete and the concrete is the surface that holds her and the holding is the thing. Sina is beside her and Sina is wearing only the shorts and the shorts are the same shorts and the body beside Lena is the body Lena has been running beside for months and the beside is the beside of two women who don't talk during the first ten miles because the first ten miles are the warming and the warming is the body's business.

The gap closes at mile eighteen. Sina has been winning by a step and the step has been the margin for weeks and the step is the margin that Lena has been eating. Today the step is gone. Lena's stride is longer and the longer is the longer of a woman who weighs 630 pounds and the 630 is the mass that drives each footfall into the concrete and the concrete pushes back and the pushing back is the force that moves her forward. They run shoulder to shoulder and the shoulder is the shoulder of two women who are the same height and the same speed and the same kind of tired. Sina glances over and the glance is the glance of a woman who feels the change and the change is the gap closing and the closing is the thing neither of them names.

At thirty-four miles they finish together. Not a step apart. Not a margin. Together. The fountain is the fountain and the water is the water and the drinking is the drinking of two women who have just run thirty-four miles barefoot on concrete and the running is done. Sina's breathing is hard and Lena's breathing is hard and the hard is the hard of two bodies that have been pushed to the same edge and the edge is the same edge. Sina doesn't say anything about the gap. The not saying is the not saying of a woman who knows the gap is closed and the closed is the thing she will sit with.

The weights go up Thursday evening. The balcony is warm and the rack holds the bar and the bar holds the plates and the plates are more. Press 550 — the bar bends and the bending is deeper and the arms drive and the lockout is held for three seconds and the three seconds are three seconds of 630 pounds of woman pressing 550 pounds of iron. Squat 535 — the descent is slow and the belly meets the thighs and the thighs hold and the ascent is the drive of mass through floor. Deadlift 640 — the chalk is white on the tribal ink and the pull is the pull of iron off concrete and the lockout is clean. Each lift is heavier than last week and the heavier is the heavier Lena expected and the expecting is the thing the spreadsheet tracks and the tracking is the tracking of a woman who knows her body is a system and the system is growing.

Kimo is on the balcony floor and the boy is crawling and the crawling is continuous. He doesn't stop. The laps are the laps Lena counts without counting — five, six, seven — the boy crossing the twelve-foot balcony in under a minute each time and the under a minute is the time and the time is his. The humming is constant and the constant is the drone that fills the balcony and the drone is the soundtrack of the workout. Lena presses 550 and the boy crawls past the barbell rack and the crawling is not interrupted by the iron and the iron is not interrupted by the crawling and the two things exist together and the together is the way they live.

The workout ends and Lena is on the concrete and the concrete is warm and the breathing is the enormous breathing of a body that has given everything. Kimo crawls to her face and the boy is fast and the fast is the fast of a child who has been crawling for weeks and the weeks have made him smooth. His hand finds her nose and the fingers close on the piercing and the piercing clicks. The boy looks at her. The looking is the looking of a child who has been looking at his mother for three months and the looking has been building toward something and the something is there. The mouth opens. The sound is not a hum. The sound is a word and the word is one syllable and the syllable is the first syllable and the first is the thing.

"Big."

The word is clear. The word is not a mumble or a approximation or a sound that could be mistaken for something else. The word is big and the big is the word and the word is the first word and the first word is big. Lena looks at the boy and the boy looks at Lena and the looking is the looking of a boy who has said his first word and the saying is done.

Lena laughs. The laugh is big and deep and the deep is the deep of a woman who has just heard her three-month-old son say big and the big is the word and the word is the word she would have chosen and the choosing is his. The laugh shakes her chest and the chest shakes the boy and the boy hums and the humming is the humming that comes back and the coming back is the thing they do. The laugh is the biggest sound on the balcony and the balcony is twelve feet long and the boy is three months old and the first word is big and the big is the structure and the structure holds.