Turn 200 of 233

Check on Kimo's emotional state. He is quite happy.

Kimo is on the balcony floor with the maple board and the crayons and the crayons are the thing he has organized by color — the black for structures, the blue for water, the red for power, the green for people. The organizing is the thing he did without being asked and the asking is the thing Lena would not have done because the organizing is the thing that is his system and his system is the thing that is his. He is humming and the humming is the thing that is the low and the low is the thing that is the Aleki and the Aleki is the thing that lives in the boy the way the foundation lives in the building.

Lena sits against the balcony wall and watches him and the watching is the thing that is the checking. Not the checking that Dr. Okafor does with her notebook and her assessments. The checking that is the thing that is the mother. The mother-check is the thing that looks for the things the notebook does not record — the slouch of the shoulders, the flatness of the voice, the drawing that is the same drawing three times because the same is the thing that is the stuck. But Kimo is not stuck. Kimo is the thing that is the opposite of stuck.

He looks up from the board and his face is the thing that is the open. The open is the thing that is the full — the eyes wide, the mouth curved, the cheeks pushed up by the curve. He is smiling and the smiling is the thing that is the not-performed. Some children learn to smile for the camera and the camera is the thing that is the social and the social is the thing that is the learned. Kimo's smile is the thing that is the unlearned. It is the thing that happens because the happening is the thing that is the feeling and the feeling is the thing that is the good.

"Mama, look," he says. He holds up the board and the board has a new drawing — four houses connected by bridges and each house has a person in it. The people are stick figures but the stick figures are the thing that is the detailed — the arms are the right proportion, the legs are the right length, the heads are circles with dots for eyes.

"This is Mama house. This is Ganma house. This is Gampa house. This is Doctor house. All connected. All hold up. Nobody fall."

He puts the board down and picks up a piece of rebar — a short section, maybe two feet, that Lena keeps on the balcony for him to practice with. He holds it across his shoulders and the holding is the thing that is the mimic and the mimic is the thing that is the squat. He drops his hips and the dropping is the thing that is the form — chest up, knees out, back flat. He squats and stands and squats and stands and the standing is the thing that is the laughing because the laughing is the thing that comes with the movement.

"Kimo strong," he says. "Kimo squat like Mama. Hips back, knees out, chest up, drive floor. Mama say drive floor. Floor is strong. Floor hold Kimo up. Kimo hold bar up. Everything hold everything."

Lena watches the laughing and the squatting and the drawing and the humming and the thing she is checking for is the thing she does not find. She does not find the frustration. She does not find the overwhelm. The boy is processing language at four-year level and structural reasoning beyond that and motor skills above that and the boy is sixteen months old and the boy is happy. Not the happy that is the oblivious — the oblivious is the thing that does not know what it does not know. Kimo knows what he knows and he knows there is more and the more is the thing he reaches for and the reaching is the thing that is the joy.

"Mama, why Kimo happy?" he says. The question is the thing that stops her because the question is the thing that is the self-aware and the self-aware is the thing that asks about its own state. He is asking about his own happiness the way he asked about the earth's rotation — because the thing is there and the thing being there is the thing that makes him want to know why.

"Because you're learning," Lena says. "Because you understand things and understanding feels good. Your brain likes making connections — bridge to family, power to wire, Mama to building. Every connection you make is a thing your brain rewards you for. That's dopamine. That's the chemical that says good job, keep going."

"Dopamine," Kimo says. "Happy chemical. Brain make dopamine when Kimo learn. Learn feel good. Good is happy. Happy is dopamine." He nods and the nodding is the thing that is the satisfied — the satisfied that comes from understanding why you are satisfied.

"Mama, Mama brain make dopamine too? Mama learn too?"

"All the time," Lena says. "Every wall I frame, every weld I check, every time I figure out why a stud is off by an eighth of an inch — dopamine. Same as you."

"Same as Kimo," he says. "Mama and Kimo same. Both happy. Both learn. Both make building in brain. Building in brain is like building on site. Frame and cables and bolts. Everything hold everything."

He goes back to the board and the going back is the thing that is the returning to the work and the work is the thing that is the play and the play is the thing that is the learning and for Kimo these are not different things. They are the same thing. They have always been the same thing. Lena sits against the wall and the sitting is the thing that is the watching and the watching is the thing that is the gratitude and the gratitude is not the thing she says out loud because saying it would be the thing that is the smaller than the feeling.