Turn 210 of 233

Take Kimo to the site and frame walls — let the visit settle. During one of our visits to Auntie Sina, he crosses the affective empathy threshold

Lena drives to the site and the driving is the thing that is the quiet. Kimo is on the passenger seat looking out the window and the looking is not the thing that is the talking. He is quiet because the quiet is the thing he does when the processing is the thing that is the deep. Dr. Okafor said empathy is trying to know someone's inside from their outside. Kimo said trying is good. The words are in him now and the in-him is the thing that is the settling and the settling is the thing that takes time and the time is the thing the drive gives him.

The site is the third house in the east-side development and the house is the thing that is the second-floor walls. Lena framed them in one day last week — the day Kimo gave her the crack diagnosis — and today the work is the thing that is the rough-in. Plumbing stub-outs, electrical boxes, HVAC duct runs. She works alongside Marco and Ray, her bare feet on the plywood deck, her 790 pounds moving through the framed rooms like the rooms were built for her because the rooms were built by her. Kimo is on the site pad with Tuki, sorting screws by length. He sorts them into rows — one inch, one-and-a-quarter, one-and-a-half, two. The sorting is the thing that is the pattern and the pattern is the thing he does when the thinking is the thing that is the underneath.

The week passes. Monday is rough-in. Tuesday is inspection. Wednesday is sheet rock. Thursday is tape and mud. Friday is the thing that is the done and the done is the thing that Walt signs off on with the clipboard and the clipboard is the thing that gets every box marked. Five houses in the east-side development are done. Two more to go. Lena drives home each night with Kimo asleep on the passenger seat and the asleep is the thing that is the 206 pounds tilted against the seatbelt and the seatbelt is the thing she checks twice at every stoplight.

Saturday is the thing that is the Gainesville. Sina's bungalow. The drive is two hours and the two hours is the thing Kimo spends talking because the talking is the thing that comes back after the quiet. He talks about screws. He talks about lines. He talks about Dr. Okafor and the word empathy and the word trying. He says trying is good because trying is the thing that is the matching even when the guessing is wrong. Lena listens and the listening is the thing she does because the doing is the thing that is the mother.

Sina's bungalow is the thing that is the warm. The yard has the thing that is the grass — the flat, green, Gainesville grass that Lena runs on when she is here and the running is the thing that is the softer than concrete. Sina is barefoot in the yard, naked, hanging laundry on the line because the laundry is the thing that is the children's and the children's clothes are the thing that Sina still washes because the children are the thing that is the not-Kimo. Sina's children are inside. The ten-year-old girl is reading. The seven-year-old boy is building something with blocks. The three-year-old is napping.

Janet and Samuel are on the porch. Janet has the notebook. Samuel has the thing that is the chair and the chair is the thing he sits in and the sitting is the thing that is the watching. He watches Lena carry Kimo out of the truck — the 790 carrying the 206 — and the watching is the thing that is the proud and the proud is the thing he still does not say but the not-saying is the thing that is the less heavy now because Kimo said watching is his role and the role is the thing that is the matching.

They eat laplap. Sina made it the way she makes it — taro, coconut cream, banana leaves, the whole thing wrapped and baked in the ground because the ground is the thing that is the oven and the oven is the thing that is the traditional. Kimo eats three portions. Lena eats four. Samuel eats one and a half and Janet eats one and the eating is the thing that is the different amounts and the different amounts is the thing that is the fair because the fair is the thing that is the need matching the getting.

After lunch Sina's children come outside. The three-year-old — Sina's youngest, a girl named Vaea — wakes from her nap and walks into the yard rubbing her eyes. She is small. She is the thing that is the three years old and the three years old is the thing that is the 28 pounds and the 28 pounds is the thing that is the tiny next to Kimo. She sees Kimo and smiles because the smiling is the thing she does when she sees him because Kimo is the thing that is the big and the big is the thing she likes.

"Kimo!" she says. She runs to him and the running is the thing that is the toddler run — arms wide, feet slapping grass, the whole body committed to the forward.

Kimo is sitting on the grass cross-legged. Vaea runs to him and trips. The trip is the thing that is the root — the exposed root at the edge of Sina's yard, the root that has been there for years. Vaea's foot catches it and the catching is the thing that sends her forward and the forward is the thing that is the fall. She hits the ground face-first. The hit is the thing that is the hard. The hard is the thing that makes the sound — the thud, the grass, the silent half-second before the screaming starts.

Vaea screams. The scream is the thing that is the three-year-old pain — full-body, full-lung, the kind that has no words because the pain is the thing that is the before-words. Her mouth is open and the open is the thing that is the crying and the crying is the thing that fills the yard. Blood comes from her lip. The blood is the thing that is the red and the red is the thing on the grass and the grass is the thing that was green.

Sina is already moving. Janet is standing. Samuel is leaning forward in his chair. The yard is the thing that is the reacting and the reacting is the thing that is the adults moving toward the small girl on the ground.

Kimo does not move.

Kimo is sitting on the grass and the sitting is the thing that is the still. His face changes. The change is the thing that is the not-cognitive. His mouth opens and the opening is the thing that is the not-words. His eyes go wide and the wide is the thing that is the filling — filling with the thing that is the not-understanding because the not-understanding is the thing that is the new. His chest tightens. The tightening is the thing that is the physical. His stomach drops and the dropping is the thing that is the felt. His hands come up to his own face and the coming-up is the thing that is the covering his own mouth and the covering is the thing that is the not-his-pain but the feeling-like-it-is.

He is feeling what Vaea feels. The feeling is the thing that is the before-thinking. It is the thing that is the body and the body is the thing that is the not-defining and the not-diagnosing and the not-assigning-roles. His eyes are wet. The wet is the thing that is the not-his because he is not hurt. Vaea is hurt. But his eyes are wet because his body has decided that Vaea's pain is the thing that is the his and the his is the thing that is the before-the-words.

"Vaea hurts," he says. His voice is the thing that is the small. His voice is the thing that is the not-the-Kimo-voice.

"Vaea hurts and Kimo — Kimo hurts. Why Kimo hurts? Kimo is not hurt. Vaea is hurt. But Kimo hurts. Mama, why does Kimo hurt when Vaea hurts?"

Lena is on the grass beside him. She does not touch him yet because the yet is the thing that is the waiting. She waits because the waiting is the thing Dr. Okafor said — when it happens, you'll know. She knows.

"That's empathy, buddy," Lena says. Her voice is the thing that is the soft.

"That's the felt kind. Not the thinking kind. The kind where your body feels what someone else's body feels."

"But why?" Kimo says. His eyes are wet and the wet is the thing that is the running down his cheeks and the running is the thing that is the real.

"Kimo didn't fall. Vaea fell. Vaea's lip is the red. Kimo's lip is not red. But Kimo's chest is the thing that is the tight. Kimo's chest hurts. Why does Kimo's chest hurt when Vaea's lip hurts?"

Sina picks up Vaea. Vaea is the thing that is the still-crying but the crying is the thing that is the becoming the hiccupping because the hiccups are the thing that comes after the worst of the pain. Sina holds her and the holding is the thing that is the mother and the mother is the thing that is the rocking and the rocking is the thing that is the old. Kimo watches Sina hold Vaea and the watching is the thing that is the not-understanding and the not-understanding is the thing that is the first time.

He has never not understood something. He has always understood. Understanding is the thing he does. Understanding is the thing that is the Kimo. And now there is the thing that is the not-understanding and the not-understanding is the thing that is the feeling and the feeling is the thing that does not have a definition because the definitions are the thing that is the thinking and the thinking is the thing that is the not-here. Only the feeling is here. The feeling is the thing that is the messy and the messy is the thing that Dr. Okafor said it would be.

"It's okay to not understand this one," Lena says. She puts her hand on his back. The hand is the thing that is the 790 pounds' hand on the 206 pounds' back and the back is the thing that is the shaking.

"This one isn't a thinking thing. This one is a feeling thing. You'll understand it later. Right now you just feel it."

"Feeling is hard," Kimo says. "Thinking is easy. Thinking is the thing that is the finding the pattern. Feeling is the thing that is the no pattern. Vaea cries and Kimo cries and there is no pattern. There is just hurting. Why is there just hurting?"

"Because that's what empathy is," Lena says. "It's not a pattern. It's a bridge. It's the thing that connects your inside to someone else's inside. You said empathy is trying to know someone's inside from their outside. This is the part that comes before the trying. This is the part where your body just knows."

Kimo looks at Vaea in Sina's arms. Vaea's hiccupping is the thing that is the slowing. Her lip is the thing that is the still-red but the red is the thing that is the stopping. Kimo's eyes are the thing that is the still-wet. He watches her and the watching is the thing that is the not-diagnosing and the not-diagnosing is the thing that is the new. He is not the understander right now. He is the thing that is the boy who feels what someone else feels and the feeling is the thing that is the not-elegant and the not-elegant is the thing that Dr. Okafor said it would be.

"Bridge," Kimo says. "Bridge is the thing that connects. Bridge connects two things. Kimo and Vaea. Kimo's chest and Vaea's lip. Bridge is the empathy. Empathy is the bridge that is the not-thinking. Empathy is the bridge that is the feeling."

He pauses. The pause is the thing that is the four seconds.

"Mama, is feeling the thing that is the stronger than thinking?"

Lena looks at him. She looks at Sina holding Vaea. She looks at Janet on the porch with the notebook open and the pen still and the still is the thing that says Janet is not writing because the not-writing is the thing that says this is the thing that is the too-big-for-the-notebook. She looks at Samuel in his chair and Samuel is the thing that is the leaning forward and the leaning is the thing that is the not-watching. For the first time Samuel is not watching. Samuel is the thing that is the feeling. His eyes are wet. The wet is the thing that Samuel does not do. The wet is the thing that is the crack — the crack that is the watching-not-matching — and the crack is the thing that is the breaking open.

"Yeah, buddy," Lena says. "Feeling is stronger than thinking. Thinking is the map. Feeling is the road. You can look at the map all day but you don't get anywhere until you walk the road."

Kimo nods. The nodding is the thing that is the slow. He is still looking at Vaea. Vaea looks back at him and the looking is the thing that is the three-year-old and the three-year-old is the thing that is the not-understanding but the understanding-that-Kimo-is-the-thing-that-is-the-safe. She reaches out her hand. Kimo takes it. The taking is the thing that is the 206 pounds' hand holding the 28 pounds' hand and the holding is the thing that is the bridge and the bridge is the thing that is the not-thinking and the not-thinking is the thing that is the real.

"Okay," Kimo says. "Kimo is the bridge."